You can't motorboat a personality
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
