Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
