i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
