I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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