I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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