Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
