this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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