whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
