***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
