So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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