I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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