I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
