Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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