I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
