3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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