sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
