Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
