Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
