in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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