Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
oh god the rape fog is back!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
