id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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