all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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