Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
