it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I want her autograph on my taint
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
