yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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