You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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