If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
