Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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