I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
ok first of all what the fuck
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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