I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
