So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
