my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
