if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
