i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
A bitchslap is in order.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
