Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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