Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
