he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
