Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
