when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
