when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
