Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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