I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
