I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
