today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
