Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
