he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't want my vagina anymore.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
