I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
