He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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