Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
