he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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