with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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