ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
