Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
